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Washrooms of YXE

Washrooms will be rated on a scale of 1 to 5, with the maximum score being 1, and the minimum -5 [considering that a ‘good’ washroom experience is rarely memorable, but a bad washroom experience can be borderline traumatizing, the rating scale should therefore reflect this imbalance]

Zone Confusion or Washroom Pioneers? at Earls Don’t Say Bread Say Bacchus Restaurant

In the late 1500s, Sir John Harington invented the “Ajax” – an early prototype for what we now know and love as the toilet. Harington’s model, with a water tank, valve, and bowl, was quite similar to the modern day flushable toilet, but his invention was discarded as it was thought of as disgusting. The ajax/toilet took nearly another 200 years to catch on, and the term “john” [as used to describe the toilet] is believed by many to be a reference to its inventor, who was never recognized during his lifetime. This founding father of sanitary defecation provides yet another example of revolutionaries who were way ahead of their time. Will Earls’ two-tier washing stations, much like Harington’s invention, be yet another example of potty-time revolution?

Dungeons and Pagans at Poached Flint

Flint wants to know your business. All of it. So does Poached. There’s no secrets here, not even your underwear colour or the devotion you may or may not have to hand washing. These pagans prop open the door so all of your insecurities and genitalia have no where to hide [not really, actually. It seems very exposed but it’s actually quite private. They still want to know, though].

Washroom/Pizza Perfection at Aroma RestroBar

On Wednesdays, Aroma ‘RestoBar’ [the little restaurant in the gut of the Radisson hotel] offer pizzas and pints of beer at half-price. The pizza is so shockingly good, the beer so shockingly insipid, and everything so shockingly cheap, that at some point in the night you’ll surely find yourself stumbling across the hotel lobby to the washrooms to test out the facility’s plumbing. There, you will discover washroom grandeur that will make your gourmet perogy pizza, by comparison, seem like a microwaved slice of Delissio.

A Nautical Oasis at D’lish by Tish

It might be a bit premature, as we’re only two washrooms in, but I believe Tish’s nautical loo has forced itself into the conversation [that no one is having (yet)] for best themed washroom in the city. Going nautical is a borderline provocative choice, Tish, considering we’re in a landlocked city some 1,500 kms away from the nearest ocean; like painting stacks of money in the washroom of a homeless shelter. But the maritime theme does run consistent with the general wayfaring/globetrotty feel in D’Lish by Tish, with its very large world map, eclectic decor, and exotic, hard to pronounce menu items like huevos bucerías, latte, and soup.

On to the w’shrooms.

Powdered Donuts and Micro Urinals at The Rook and Raven

A search for best restaurants in Saskatoon lands The Rook and Raven squarely at four on the ever-reputable site, Zomato. Fourth best in the city. I am in no place to argue for or against this ranking, but as their aggregate score [4.5/5] is accrued from a whopping 1,225 votes, it’s fair to assume their score is well-earned. [by comparison, after 150 votes, Tomas the Cook has a city low rating of 2.1]. As a guess, I would attribute R&R’s popularity to their versatility – they seem uniquely suitable to accommodate everyone from the priggishly formal to the late-night pint sloppers. So while the restaurant’s high standing might be deserved, no such rating will be given to their washrooms.

The Five Guiding Principles to Public Washroom Excellence

The most important thing you’ll do on any given day is visit the washroom. Relieving oneself surpasses whatever importance we may assign to the various responsibilities that consume us between trips to the toilet. Of the fundamental human needs, none is greater: a healthy adult, in temperate conditions, may go up to ten days without water, up to three weeks without food, and in the absence of a Steinbeck novel or subscription to TED Talks, up to a week without sleeping. But go nine hours, ten tops, without relieving oneself and you’re as good as dead. And what’s worse, you’ll