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Zone Confusion or Washroom Pioneers? at Earls Don’t Say Bread Say Bacchus Restaurant

In the late 1500s, Sir John Harington invented the “Ajax” – an early prototype for what we now know and love as the toilet. Harington’s model, with a water tank, valve, and bowl, was quite similar to the modern day flushable toilet, but his invention was discarded as it was thought of as disgusting. The ajax/toilet took nearly another 200 years to catch on, and the term “john” [as used to describe the toilet] is believed by many to be a reference to its inventor, who was never recognized during his lifetime. This founding father of sanitary defecation provides yet another example of revolutionaries who were way ahead of their time. Will Earls’ two-tier washing stations, much like Harington’s invention, be yet another example of potty-time revolution?

Dungeons and Pagans at Poached Flint

Flint wants to know your business. All of it. So does Poached. There’s no secrets here, not even your underwear colour or the devotion you may or may not have to hand washing. These pagans prop open the door so all of your insecurities and genitalia have no where to hide [not really, actually. It seems very exposed but it’s actually quite private. They still want to know, though].

Washroom/Pizza Perfection at Aroma RestroBar

On Wednesdays, Aroma ‘RestoBar’ [the little restaurant in the gut of the Radisson hotel] offer pizzas and pints of beer at half-price. The pizza is so shockingly good, the beer so shockingly insipid, and everything so shockingly cheap, that at some point in the night you’ll surely find yourself stumbling across the hotel lobby to the washrooms to test out the facility’s plumbing. There, you will discover washroom grandeur that will make your gourmet perogy pizza, by comparison, seem like a microwaved slice of Delissio.

RANKED: Public Art in Downtown Saskatoon

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Celebrated for its scenic river valley, beautiful Meewasin trails, wealth of excellent restaurants, constant construction, and rambunctious panhandlers, the downtown core is undoubtedly the semiprecious stone in Saskatoon’s not-yet-sold-off crown. In recent years, downtown has become a prominent site for a surprising amount permanent and non-permanent public art, which here will be unsystematically ranked.  Note: Titles of art pieces will be provided for those which were not obviously displayed or we just simply didn’t notice. Note 2: Saskatoon’s downtown has a major imbalance in its male/female statue ratios. Hopefully this is noted in any of the city’s future art installation plans.

27. “PRAIRIE WIND”

artists: Jyhling Lee + Paul Koopman

This piece was commissioned by the City to be “a natural draw and an interesting feature that could be a focus for this area.” The winning proposal were these big, rigid, white telephone poles that are supposed to emulate “the experience of watching a field of tall grass swaying in the wind.”  If this looks like grass swaying in the wind, then my garage door opening looks like the blooming of a lily.

Tipping Should Die Because It’s Killing Our Souls

The following statement might not bode well for any potential arguments I make in the future about being an impulsive, freewheeling adventurer, but it is nonetheless true; the most reckless thing I do on a regular basis is handout arbitrary sums of money to total strangers who pretend, out of strict job requirements, to be my friend. This is a practice known as tipping.

A SUCCINCT CASE FOR TIPPING’S RECKLESSNESS IN THE EVENT YOU’D RATHER NOT READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE: The average person, over a 30 year adult period,

A Nautical Oasis at D’lish by Tish

It might be a bit premature, as we’re only two washrooms in, but I believe Tish’s nautical loo has forced itself into the conversation [that no one is having (yet)] for best themed washroom in the city. Going nautical is a borderline provocative choice, Tish, considering we’re in a landlocked city some 1,500 kms away from the nearest ocean; like painting stacks of money in the washroom of a homeless shelter. But the maritime theme does run consistent with the general wayfaring/globetrotty feel in D’Lish by Tish, with its very large world map, eclectic decor, and exotic, hard to pronounce menu items like huevos bucerías, latte, and soup.

On to the w’shrooms.

Powdered Donuts and Micro Urinals at The Rook and Raven

A search for best restaurants in Saskatoon lands The Rook and Raven squarely at four on the ever-reputable site, Zomato. Fourth best in the city. I am in no place to argue for or against this ranking, but as their aggregate score [4.5/5] is accrued from a whopping 1,225 votes, it’s fair to assume their score is well-earned. [by comparison, after 150 votes, Tomas the Cook has a city low rating of 2.1]. As a guess, I would attribute R&R’s popularity to their versatility – they seem uniquely suitable to accommodate everyone from the priggishly formal to the late-night pint sloppers. So while the restaurant’s high standing might be deserved, no such rating will be given to their washrooms.

The Five Guiding Principles to Public Washroom Excellence

The most important thing you’ll do on any given day is visit the washroom. Relieving oneself surpasses whatever importance we may assign to the various responsibilities that consume us between trips to the toilet. Of the fundamental human needs, none is greater: a healthy adult, in temperate conditions, may go up to ten days without water, up to three weeks without food, and in the absence of a Steinbeck novel or subscription to TED Talks, up to a week without sleeping. But go nine hours, ten tops, without relieving oneself and you’re as good as dead. And what’s worse, you’ll